Given that I'm a bloke, who has done his fair share of dating women, the following posts are going to be centred around single guys pursuing single girls. It's not a chauvinist thing I just don't have much experience, or inclination, to go chasing after guys. Having said that I'll do my best to cover all angles and I may do a post on what guys go for...we'll see how we go.
So I thought I'd start by sharing a few general strategies that have been used over the years. These may seem a bit counter intuitive but they do work. But with many things in life you have to use what works for you and timing can be everything.
Anyway here are nine strategies for successful dating:
- Chasing - ok this is a huge generalisation but in my experience holds a lot of weight.
Women like to be chased by men!
Now I'm not talking about the weird stalker pursuing and would never advocate continually trying your luck when a lady has made it clear she's not interested. However if you are a man waiting for a woman to make the first move - well you'll probably be waiting a long time because some other guy will come along and sweep her off her feet.
Get in the game! Make your intentions known - what is there to lose!
- Sex talk!
Now we're all adults, we all know that dating is a mechanism to weed out a new (hopefully long term) mate. That means that if all goes well sex is going to happen! But the first conversation/date is not the time to find out what her favourite position is or whether she likes firemen or Santa!
- No sex before marriage!
Only kidding...but there is an important point here that follows on from point two. Most women aren't interested in just one night stands (a topic for a future post). If you're serious about finding a long term partner why rush things? Although sexuality is a big part of a relationship, it is not a good foundation on which to build a relationship. If you build your relationship on sex, it will most likely fall like a house of cards.
- Don't live in each others pockets.
Date went well? Been texting and phoning lots? Have you been doing that whole 'you hang up first' thing?
Chill out! How is a house built? Brick by brick. How have you developed friendships? Over time. Same principal here with dating...less can sometimes be more.
- Real relationships need real interaction!
Texts, emails, phone calls, facebook - these are all great ways of staying in touch with your chosen girl. However the more you get used to chatting via electronic means the more you may feel awkward with each other in person. Plus this stuff is just far more fun in person.
- Be yourself!
Again if you are after a long term partner in life why try and be someone you're not? At some point the real you will shine through leading to an interesting dynamic in your budding romance.
If you are compatible, you will discover more things to like about each other. If you are not compatible, you will be able to find out sooner rather than later.
- Be aware of who you're dating!
While being true to yourself remember that everyone is unique and different. Ok you might only date carbon copy look-a-likes of your first girl friend, but the girl you're now dating is her own person with her own personality. Give her a chance and don't assume she'll have the same baggage as all your other ex's.
- Don't go changing!
The only person that can really change you - is you; the only person that can change your significant other is them. If at the start they have an annoying habit that drives you mad - well it's always going to be there. You don't get to just pick the bits you like so if there is something that drives you mad then have an honest conversation with yourself.
- Have fun!
Dating is a chance to meet new and interesting people and do fun activities. It's an opportunity for growth and can add sparkle to your life.
There you go 9 tips for successful dating.